Life and death
I’m having trouble finding the words to express the feelings I have inside. I’m torn up inside and I’m lost on how to handle it all. I fear that the family I grew up in no longer exists. My mother past away last November. She was the glue that kept us all together. The day she died was the day that my father I knew growing up died as well. I didn’t realize this at the time though I should of seen it. I think a pieces of my brothers and I died that day as well.
My dad isn’t the man I remember anymore. He’s changed in so many ways. I’m not saying that I didn’t expect this because I know that a death of a love one does change you but not in such a way as he has. He is getting remarried October 4th to a really nice women. I like her and I wish that I didn’t. I went to meet her with the intention of not liking her. Its just that my dad is different with her. He used to be a strong strict Christian man. Went to church whenever they had services. Volunteer at everything. Held bible studies in his home. Now he hardly ever goes. He is drinking all the time. Using curse words a lot and just isn’t himself. I know that some of this isn’t a big deal but it is at the same time. I’m supposed to stand up with them at the wedding and I’m really honored to do so but u just wish things were different……
Never miss an opportunity to tell someone how much they mean to you.
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