What to say

I feel like I’m swimming in this pool of nothingness and I can’t find a way out. I’ve been taking these pills for my depression and other stuff. I don’t know if it’s working or not.
Also my mother’s birthday is on the 30th and I want to do something in rememberance to her but I’m kinda lost on What to do.
I will be starting. Humria (Sorry if spelled wrong) sometime this weekend or next week and I’m so nervous as I tend to put a lot of pressure on my meds to work. I’m scared of the possible side effect I’m scared that it won’t work. I need it to work since I’ve tried so many and they have failed……
My mind is all over the place. I’ve been stuck in bed for two days now and it sucks. I’m so tired of this disease and What it does to me and my family……..

ibd crohn's disease depression lost